~Back Into the Swing of Things

FINALLY...things are settling down and getting back to normal. I'm just starting to bounce back from the exhaustion I've had for the last couple of weeks. There's not enough hours in the day when you're a single mother of three. I know I was born to be a mother (so I assume that means I was born to be a wife as well but the jury is still out on that one) and I should be given a crown for being the queen of multi-tasking. It really does come naturally and I rarely even have to think about what I'm doing. That does not mean my job of motherhood is easy...its tough work! But I love doing it and I do exceptionally well (if I do say so myself). Of course, I'm never satisfied and always feeling like there's room for improvement but given my circumstances...well? I'm grateful that everything is working out better than I anticipated and I continuously pray for strength to do all that I do.

I sometimes wonder...is anybody listening?!? I write these blogs for two reasons. 1. Maybe I've experienced something that someone else is feeling or dealing with, and my perspective could possibly give some insight. 2. Writing is my therapy and I feel much better once I just let it out. I do give God a lot of praise because He is the reason for everything. I'm nothing without Him so its impossible to share my life without giving credit where credit is due. It's very important that I do NOT take credit for anything good that I write! I've received many compliments and kind remarks about my blogs but my little old brain cannot even fathom some of the things that it comes up with on it's own. So if there's anything that I have said that is even remotely intelligent, I give all glory the God! I hope there's something which I've written that has helped somebody, somewhere but it's not imperative that I know for sure (that's the reason I took the place to leave comments off of here). I'm gonna continue doin what I do regardless! But since I truly believe a lot of what I write is inspired by God, I hope at least one person has on the thinking cap.

My 1st Visit Home...

I have two days left until I'm headed back to FL. This first visit home has went pretty well and I've had a relaxing time. It's been good to just kick back since all I've done for the last few weeks is work, eat, and sleep. It felt really weird being here at first but now I feel at home. Everyone has been complaining about the heat but it feels great to me...guess I'm use to the FL weather. I feel burdened that I won't get to see everyone who I would like to see this visit but due to the Umoja Festival, I've been able to see more people than I would have otherwise. The mosquitoes are horrific...my legs and feet are covered! I'm just realizing that I haven't been bitten all summer until now. I think I would rather deal with the sand fleas because these bites are so aggravating. All that's left to do is pack up the moving truck and say my goodbyes for a while. As of now, I plan to visit home only in the summer but we shall see if my mind changes. I seriously doubt I will be making that 10 hour drive with three kids unless it's necessary. Wow! This is crazy...but I love it!! Visiting Johnson City is definitely way better than living in Johnson City!

What's the Cure?

Surprisingly, the homesickness I have felt has been minimal. I haven't missed JC at all...just my loved ones. But I've been too busy with work and getting things in order to even miss them much. I did have a day when the homesickness hit me like a brick. The day I registered my kids at their new school was very melancholy. I really missed being at home where it's familiar and I missed having my kids attend a school where everyone knows them. The uneasiness I felt at the thought of my children being in a strange place lingered the whole day, though moving back to TN never crossed my mind. They are super excited, of course, and have no nervousness about being in new surroundings. I know that they'll be just fine, but like I've said many times...change overwhelms me. I'm, for the most part, over it now but there's only one other thing that I'm dreading...the winter! Anybody who knows me, knows I LOVE the snow. Thinking of the winter season (which will be here before I know it) really depresses me. It's not like we got a great deal of snow in Johnson City, but knowing that the possibility of snow at my new residence is slim to none really makes me sad. It makes me think...'why on earth did I move so far south?!?' I guess I'll have to suffer through the snow less winters but homesickness come winter is pretty much guaranteed...Thank God for football!

A Tough Pill to Swallow...

There's a female who I considered to be one of my best friend's in high school and a little beyond. I thought about her all the time when we lost touch and hoped that I would reconnect with her someday. When that finally happened, I was surprised at the awkwardness which took place. It was like we had never met. I'm still not exactly sure what was the problem. Maybe after she heard about my circumstances, she was judgmental of the person I had become (who knows). She was still the sweet and kind person I remembered her to be but instead of acting like long lost friends, we behaved as if we were strangers. It was extremely sad for me! She was suppose to be the Godmother of my first born...She always came to visit me when she was in town...I knew without a doubt she would someday be my bridesmaid and vice verse...I thought about her often when we lost contact and I was so happy when we found each other again. Yet, I don't know what happened...It's possible that nothing happened! I've finally faced the harsh realization that some people grow apart for no obvious reason. And very few people who leave your life will ever return. There are a couple of people that I was extremely close to back in the day but now it's like I never knew them. It has been very difficult for me to accept that the one's I loved the most at one point, will never be close to me again. It sucks, but it's life! Things change, people change, and sometimes they go their separate ways. That doesn't mean the time they spent playing a role in my life means any less, just that their time with me is up I guess. There are not many who I consider to be my real friend. True friends are hard to come by so I'll try my best to hang on to the few that I have. For the people who have willingly walked out of my life...I must let them go (if they can walk away, it's best they go)! For those who went unwillingly...some things just MUST be done! And for those who are still apart of my life...I love you and thank you!!