What A Fellowship...

As you may know by now, I just love writing! I truly believe that God has blessed me with a gift of expressing myself through written words. When I started this blog, I ask God what should be the name, URL, and theme. So it’s no surprise to me that I go to Him before every blog that I post and ask for the knowledge and wisdom to write something that will be beneficial. I want everything I do to be to God's glory and not my own. I don't write so that people can leave comments or tell me that I'm a good writer. My hope is that God will lead me to share something that someone out there can grab onto and benefit from. It doesn't matter if I have one reader or ten thousand.

With that being said, I feel overwhelmingly compelled to write about something near and dear to my heart…God's accessibility. Salvation is hands down the best gift but I’m in constant awe of how available God is to me. I've never been the one to seek out human advice (partly because I used to be extremely shy, and partly because I don’t trust that people will give advice that’s not out of emotion). Therefore, I’ve always gone to God about everything. Whenever I need to talk I just picture him sitting wherever I am, listening to my every word. If I’m in my car, then He’s in the passenger seat. If I’m in my bed, then He’s sitting on the side of it. It’s something that I’ve done since I was a small child and I can only imagine that by now He’s like, “What now?” But I know that’s not the case. I just love that I can go to him anytime, anywhere, about anything! No matter if it’s 3pm or 3am. No matter if I’m driving in my car or I’m down on my knees. No matter if I’m praying for snow or praying for a sick family member. He’s there to listen. God doesn’t put me on hold or tell me to come back later. He’s never too busy or too tired to listen to me. I don’t have to make an appointment or be dressed a certain way to talk to Him. The Lord is my best friend! He makes me laugh and He sometimes makes me cry. He provides me with everything that I need and sometimes He gives me what I want. Every time I go to Him, I am comforted. Whether He answers my prayer right then or He tells me to wait…I am comforted! There have been times when I was so heartbroken that I thought I would die. Times when I was hurting so bad that I couldn’t go to God myself so I asked Jesus to go on my behalf. Those are the times when I was instantly comforted. I’ve never felt worse after talking to God, only better. I’m continuously aware of the things that I see and hear. I’m continuously thanking God for my blessings. I don’t just thank Him for everything. I will sit and try to individually name the things that I thank Him for. Of course that is no easy task because He’s done countless things for me. Yet still I try. I don’t want something (whether it be big or small) to have to be taken away from me before I realize what a blessing it is. From the toenails on my toes to the hair on my head, I’m blessed! From the pillow on my bed to the money in my pocket, I’m blessed. So if you see me driving or I’m out somewhere and it seems that I’m talking to myself, don’t be worried…that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m not crazy, (well maybe just a little) I’m just talking to my Lord who now lives within me.

The next best thing!

My two girls have just overwhelmed me with intrigue over the last few days! I've always wanted to experience the bond that sisters have and since I never will, I'm in constant admiration of my daughters. They really crack me up! I especially love watching them when they're being sweet to each other but their fights interest me as well. I've laid in my bed many nights just laughing and listening to them talk to each other in a dark bedroom like two little old ladies. There have been many conversations but I have to share the one I heard last night because it moved me so much as their mother.

Caislyn: Ray Ray I cold. Can you cover me up?

Zarayah: Cover yourself up.

Caislyn(in the sweetest most adorable voice I've ever heard): I can't cause I little.

Zarayah: Ok (She gets up and covers Cailsyn up)

Caislyn: Ray Ray my feet are cold.

Zarayah(gets up and says): Oh I forgot to cover up your feet.(She then covers her feet)

Caislyn: Ray Ray are you my best friend?

Zarayah: Yes

Caislyn: Are you sure?

Zarayah: I said yes

And then of course Caislyn gets right up and goes to jump on Zarayah's bed while she's trying to sleep and I have to fuss at her. Still, listening to them touched my heart so much. I'm grateful that God blessed me with two girls! I hope I'm around many days so that I can keep experiencing the bond the two of them share.

Please Remember...

To ALL Obama supporters (no matter your race):

Regardless of the outcome of this election, Obama is a great African-American leader! He is a great man! There are many attempts of character assassination against him and we should be praying for his safety should he win. There are some who want citizens of this country to fear Obama because they're intimidated themselves by his overwhelming effectiveness. As a result, there are people out there who are genuinely afraid of having a black president. To most black people these scare tactics are not surprising; we expect them. By looking back in black history, we can see that there were always attempts to stop positive black leaders from advancing. Black people have learned from experience that things are not always fair(not to say that some things aren't unfair for all humans). But we know that a black man cannot become the president of the U.S. being an average student as Bush did. A black man or woman would have to be an excellent student (excelling above everyone) to be accepted as capable of actually accomplishing such a task. And even then it's a struggle because there seems to be no room for error for a black person wanting to be at the top. Just remember...God didn't bring us this far to leave us! If Obama is suppose to be the president of this country...he will be! If not...so be it! Nevertheless, we MUST thank God for how far He has brought us in this country...from Kunta Kinte to Barack Obama!

Not over yet!

I feel so accomplished now that I have finally finished school. Yesterday I graduated and it felt a little surreal. Although the time went by rather quickly for me, there were times when I didn't think I would make it to the end. In the last week alone I had to study for six tests and create a 30 slide powerpoint presentation. Talk about exhausting! I am so mentally spent that I'm having a hard time concentrating on anything right now. I'm hoping that a couple of days of rest will do away with the confusion I'm experiencing. I still have to take the national board test, which I will spend the next few weeks studying for. Hopefully I will be able to take the test before I go on my vacation to Panama City Beach. A vacation that will be much needed by the time it rolls around. It's suppose to be my golden birthday present and I'm anticipating the chance to not only relax, but see my brother and nephew (my taquito). I ask for everyone to pray that I can stay focused on studying and pass my test whenever I take it. I'll let you know how it goes.

It's hard to hold back!

I'm trying my best not to blog about politics but man it's getting so hard because of the frustration I feel. When I think about John McCain becoming president my stomach starts to turn and I feel exactly the way I felt in 2000 at the thought of Bush winning. It's hard to describe the feeling really. You see...I've been blessed with discernment. I knew he would be a terrible president and my belief is that John McCain will be even worse. And this Sarah Palin chick really makes me nervous. Although I've been for Obama all along, I would've been content with Hillary as well. She took us women so many steps ahead but every time I hear Palin in an interview I realize that she is taking us so many steps back. It's like she's undoing everything that Hillary did. It's obvious that she doesn't know what she's talking about 95% of the time. She's just spouting off what she's been taught to say in the last 6 weeks, which is making her look really dumb. The fact that she's so unprepared for the job that she's been called to do, makes her seem as if she's all beauty and no brains. I want someone in there who already knows what's going on in the world, not somebody who has to be filled in on what to say in a matter of weeks. Sarah Palin may very well be an intelligent lady (in Alaska) but she's clearly out of her league on this one. People are absolutely nuts to think that she can run this country in the event that McCain is unable to.

Next frustration...

John McCain's demeanor is so irritating. Does he really believe that he's better than Obama? I'm not even speaking politically. He really acts like Obama is beneath him or something. Since all politicians lie (some more than others), try watching the debates on mute and just look at the way each of them carries themselves. It's incredible! Take away all the words and you can see who has the passion and actually believes what he or she is saying.

Next frustration...

It bothers me that some think we black people are only voting for Obama because he is black. Like he has nothing else to offer! I have no doubt that he will be a great president. I just pray for his safety. I don't agree with everything he believes. Like abortion for example. I believe it's wrong...Obama believes in choice. I can't fault him for that because the one thing that God gave us control of is choice. We can choose the we way live our lives. I have always said, "the one thing humans don't need control of, is the one thing that God gave us control of." Yes, we will have to suffer consequences if we make the wrong choices but we still have that right to choose. That's all I will say about that! Read my previous blog "The Obama Effect" if you want to know why I initially decided to vote for him.

Through all this I try to remember that God is in control and no matter who wins, He will take care of me. Although, when the winner is decided, there will be some extremely negative reactions regardless. God rules my life no matter the president. He got me through these last 8 years, which were terribly ran, and He'll continue to pull me through the rest...whatever the case may be. Still it's hard to ward off the feelings of frustration at times. I'm grateful at the chance to witness this history and I realize how far this country has come. But it's kind of bitter-sweet. On one hand...there's a black nominee for president...WOW! On the other hand...I've personally been reminded that racism is still alive well.